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  • Emma-Kate Martin

I've been lying to the women of Adelaide

Hi my name is Emma. I am a mother of two children, a wife to an extremely dynamic husband. And I am a liar liar pants on fire.

I had my second baby six months ago. And ever since then I’ve become a magnet for two types of women. The first type are the ‘single child mums’ who must be on the contemplation train for bringing a second life into our world. The second type of woman is the lady who has already got two young babes and is sitting in the same boat as me. The crazy boat. And these ladies are looking for confirmation that other mums have shitty times too.

Doesn’t matter if I’m at the park, the shops or even going to the gym - I seem to have the exact same conversation over and over again with women all over Adelaide. This is pretty much how it plays out…

Single Child Mummy: Gorgeous little bubs! How are you coping with two young ones?

Me: Yeah good! It’s easier than I imagined it would be. Just have to stay one step ahead of the game.

*insert non-psychotic crazy person smile*

Single Child Mummy: Really? My partner and I are seriously considering having another one, but I’m just worried that I won’t cope!

Me: Oh no, you’ll be fine! You’ll be surprised at how much easier it is the second time around.

Haha oh goodness, I’m cringing just writing this! When in actual fact our conversations SHOULD go like this…

Single Child Mummy: Gorgeous little bubs! How are you coping with two young ones?

Me: I have no idea! Somehow I get both children fed each day, and if I’m on top of my game they’ll have a bath.

*insert psychotic crazy person smile*

Me: No but seriously, it is so rewarding. I know I’m starting to wrinkle prematurely and I’m wearing bather bottoms because I haven’t got any clean underwear but my kids just make everyday so joyful. Well…maybe not everyday. I mean, with toilet training one, while the other is teething isn’t going to make for a happy day – but atleast my husband understands. Okay, maybe he doesn’t, but I still love him…on the days that I don’t want to leave him. Like today, I’m ready to walk away. If he leaves one more pair of dirty jocks on the floor NEXT TO the dirty wash basket – THAT’S IT!

*insert uncomfortable silence*

Me: Sorry. I’m just tired. Having two kids is great. Honest. You don’t know freedom until you truly don’t know what day it is. By the way, could you tell me what day it is? Just kidding. I know it’s Monnnnn…Thursday. Oh shit Harry’s meant to be at Childcare!

Gee Wiz, if I had a truthful conversation like this – without a filter, I’m pretty sure we’d see a decline in population rates within a 30km radius from where I live.

In all seriousness though, I do actually think it’s important that we share ‘the real deal’ with friends and family. The more you open up, the more they will open up and the more we will all connect and feel more normal than ever before.

Motherhood is a lonely journey. You’re constantly talking or being spoken to, you’re constantly invited to tea parties with teddy-bears and disco’s with dinosaurs…but at the same time you’ll feel incredibly alone. And I’m pretty sure that’s a universal symptom on motherhood. Some days I felt like a total failure as a mum because I wasn’t living up to ‘the perfect standard’ I for some reason had in my head. Because no-one told me I’d feel depressed about not seeing my friends because my children needed a bedtime routine, or that you’d argue with your husband over who put the tea towels in the wrong drawer. No-one told me!

So next time some poor bewildered woman looks to me for some type of approval to have another baby – I’ll be honest. To a degree. I just want to reassure them that when they have shit days and feel like the world is caving in – It’s a sign they’re doing a great job. But at the same time, I do need to spread the word about how incredibly special life has become with another beautiful soul in the world.

Being a parent is hard. Sometimes it’s just plain shit. Other times, it will feel like you have found your true purpose in life. And if you feel all these things and everything in-between, I’m here to tell you YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB X

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